Someone to talk to.. They say the best way to forget someone is time... Go to a party with smile, thinking to yourself how superficial and uninteresting these people are. Woo a fashionista with your expensive shoes, and suit, in hopes that you can take her shopping. Go to a friend's friend's show, who's band's is trying too hard to be different because they have no talent. Woo a college girl by taking her out to dinner and talking to her, so she can to her friends about dating a real man. Play soccer, only to find out you are no longer invincible. Woo a lonely thirty something year old, who's friend's recent engagement made her feel vulnerable. Yet that feelings creeps up... It must have been good, because you are wonder if you are insane. How you miss the way she smells in the morning. How you miss the way her name pops up on your when she texts. The way your door sounded when she visited. How all the beautiful women in NYC are suddenly stale. Wish at every shooting star, every 11:11 that some how things it's meant to be. You begin questioning your own sanity.. Trying to re every last moment you spent with her. To try and see things rationally, from the outside. And then you realized, it was never meant to be. It was only suppose to be a causal affair, you broke the rules for wanting more. It's your fault for caring. The fact that she never cared, how she did not want to hear about your problems. If you treated her like all the other women you have wooed, she might still be in your life. Your brain tells you it's stupid to on spill milk.. Was it love? Was it infacturation? Was it a delusion? The only thing you know for sure, is that you are not the same man. Despite decades of "be a man" education nailed to your core, you suddenly see the world differently. You feel the songs, the painting, and life. Only wishing you felt it sooner. That you understood sooner. That you can be yourself around her; not the way we want to be, but the one we really are.. because maybe then, she will understand why I feel the way I do about her... Some things are elusive...not meant to be captured... by you at least.. The feeling still creeps up.. It makes no sense...

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