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I wish ( not really ) I could erase most of the past year, and clear you from my mind. I wish I could heal you & take away the pain that I have caused. I was (past) hurt because you could walk away so easily ( in my mind ) and left me empty ( how I felt ) . I can't stay upset with you, I love you too much. I could trg my very hardest to forget you ( I try ) then BAM you POP in my mind again. I spend most of my days (99.9%) daydreaming of what I would do f I were to see you? ( I dream ) scary to think my thoughts ( all happy ) it's something i can't control ( I try ) my heart wants yours. My soul feels connected to yours.
If I could change many things ( looking back ) I would. Some of the hardest things ( for me I feel ) in relationships to think about that oter person and IF you are doing the RIGHT things, and how your other half would perceive. I AM selfish! I am mean! I admit my flaws, and accept consequences (hope I learn)
But, something's I know. That I love YOU. For you accept you for who you are. I can get lost in everything about you! There's so much of you ( and us) I loved ( and miss). Sometimes I wish there circumstances were different. I wish I made myself more clear. I thought what I was doing was right. I am sorry it showed that I never wanted you apart of my (our) future. I am really sorry.
I know I pushed you away (passively) I never accepted love nor did I want to what a struggle. But my pity party train aeriosly derailed. I am fed up with thinking that way. I am thankful today that I was able to see ( not so much) until now:( you meant and will always mean so much to me . Your someone very special. I am sorry I didn't seem proud about you accomplishments! I always admired how passionate you are about what you do and how much of a fighter you are. I wish I was half as strong as you(mentally and physiy:) you have an amazing ability to walk away :( that's power . Your strong! I try but it's hard when there's 1 person in the world that you want hut you can not have him because (I) your screwed in the head! I wish I could change things but not look back. I still feel that everything happens for a reason ( I wonder what?) I will always wonder. And will try to forget < 3 just know if your reading this ( I wish) that I love you with all of my heart! I miss seeing you, holding you, listen to your jokes, laughing with you, I miss feeling your heart beat, I miss your smile, I miss your perspective, I miss your heart, I miss your scent, I moss everything about you!!!
As Many times as I blink I'll think of you!
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