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Tonight I rode my silly blue bicycle to the grocery store to buy cigarettes and butter and flour (because I wanted to bake a pie. A cigarette pie), but unfortunately left my wallet at home, a good two miles away.
I saw you, well-bearded man with glasses and a white t-shirt in the dairy food section originally and had it not been for the long-time-no-see friend I serendipitously ran into, I would have most likely tried to walk up to you, hoping you'd notice me in my dumb black sweater, old makeup, and greasy looking Jane Birkin wanna be hair cut.
If you had, I would have then most likely tried to make a joke about eggs or yogurt, certainly failing miserabley, and then proceeding to the nearest exit.
After I left the store, I unchained my bike from the handicap parking spot sign pole and attempted to ride off the curb, into the sunset if you will, however the back wheel became caught against the curb. A driver in a car motioned for me to ride across, but I just motioned back, "No, really, go on, this is gonna take a minute."
That's when I saw you again, putting your groceries into your car, and, if I'm not mistaken, laughing to yourself.
Listen, if you've made it this far into the post, you should know now, you are really attractive. Not like, "Missed Connections: smoking hot dude, hit me up, lol," but just very handsome and yeah I was a little flustered when you told me to "ride safe," and I blurted out I hadn't ridden in years or something to that affect (effect?).
Regardless, on my bike ride home, I was literally slapping my forehead. I had one shot, one shot to throw out any small talk, or big talk, who knows, but didn't.
I don't read missed connections or have ever even posted one, but even if I did, I probably wouldn't respond to one about me. I'm not hoping you find this, and email me and we hit it off. I'm not into meeting from the Internet. I don't much like computers. More into the real thing.
But, hey, if you feel like there was a missed opportunity there, I wouldn't mind knowing.
Anyway, I'm sure no one's read this entire thing, even you, good looking man from the grocery store, but just know, I think I should have spoken with you. You looked like the kind of man who could hold up his end of the conversation, and that's what counts.

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