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aspiring urban hunter/gatherer type seeks same for... change of pace I guess I've always been a bit of an underachiever. Upon graduating college back on the east coast with a geography degree, I took a job as a bicycle courier and figure this is as close as I'll ever come to putting said degree to use. It was a wonderful job that afforded me the unique opportunity to travel about the city, explore its many cultural districts, sample ethnic cuisines, interact with fascinating people, and do a bunch of recreational drugs.

Ultimately however, the lifestyle caught up to me and I decided to pack it up and come out west. Since arriving however, I've done little in a "professional" capacity, and am fairly certain I could train my dog to handle most of the responsibilities at my current job. I'd just need to convince my co-workers there was some reason I was eating Alpo for lunch and "marking my territory" in the copy room. It's an OK job anyway, for a decent cause, and so I'll probably keep at it for a while.

I've also always been something of an armchair anthropologist and nature aficionado, geeking out to whatever outdated National Geographic issues I could score at the Value Village, and jumping on those opportunities that'd present themselves to explore our many & precious local wildlife areas. And I've long been awed & envious of those less civilized and more "primitive" hunter/gatherer type cultures that are so often profiled in the Natty G, often thinking how nice it'd be to chuck all the shit aside and live off the land... hunting & gathering, of course.

Care to join me?

Formerly a vegetarian, I'll first confess that my hunting skills are probably gonna need some refining. I have done a fair amount of fishing in my formative years, though admittedly this generally seemed more like an excuse to drink beer while hanging out by the lake than it did an attempt to procure basic nutritional sustenance. Whatever though. I'd imagine that the initial "hunting" expeditions we embark upon will likely amount to no more than efforts to procure a cheap hour burger someplace with a decent tap selection. And really -- I've probably always been more a "gatherer" anyway.

And just exactly it is we'll be gathering you may ask? Whatever it is your heart desires, of course! (assuming your heart desires that which can be located & gathered roughly within the city limits and isn't encompassed by thorn bushes, angry raccoons, or any other potentially hazardous obstacles. Shit, maybe we'll get started by gathering up some cheap happy hour beers someplace.)

Here's some things that I've been hunting & gathering over the course of the past few years and will probably miss, at least initially, upon our adoption of the new lifestyle. . .

- Public radio stations
- bicycles
- Trailblazer broadcasts
- Scrabble
- neighborhood divebars & foodcart fare

And to those of you reading this and saying to yourself, "Wait a second, he's not aspiring to establish himself in the mold of one of those noble and valiant Amazonian tribesman, fending off dangerous game and the encroachment of modern civilization! He wants to be one of those crusty guys who hangs out near the safeway asking me for spare change!" I can only say to you. . . well, apparently I've not actually thought this out quite well enough to craft an adequate response to such an accusation. Maybe we should head on out someplace for happy hour to discuss.
So if you've made it this far in my little diatribe, I can only assume you're at least mildly intrigued, and I urge that you ask yourself -- what've you got to lose? (other than all your worldly possessions, of course.) You should definitely shoot me an email though. And include a picture, of course. And good luck on the hunt (& gather) regardless.


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